Lynndie England Looking for Work

Eight years after becoming a household name in the Abu Ghraib Prison Scandal, it’s most famous pariah remains both unrepentant and unemployable.

The 29-year-old unemployed single mother is living in rural West Virginia and just days after a US soldier killed 16 innocent Afghan civilians, Lynndie maintains:

Their lives are better. They got the better end of the deal… They weren’t innocent. They’re trying to kill us, and you want me to apologise to them? It’s like saying sorry to the enemy.

England became notorious in 2004 when she appeared in photos that showed detainees with hoods over their heads, being threatened by dogs, forced to masturbate, or piled on top of each other in a detainee sandwich.

At the time, US President George W. Bush conceded that the scandal shamed the US, and was a disaster for the war effort.

England was dishonourably discharged from the army after serving a year-and-a-half in prison. She has been sending out resumes, but can’t even land a job flipping burgers for the clown.

The proud Lynndie does, however, show remorse for the US soldiers who became victims of the ensuing reprisals claiming:

I think about it all the time – indirect deaths that were my fault. Losing people on our side because of me coming out on a picture.

I suspect the issue is a little more complex than that, but if anyone has any work available for an Army trained supervisor that doesn’t require any profoundly insightful witticisms, please contact us and we will put you in contact with Ms England.

Tagged employment, Iraq, military, USA